Yo rabbi

First of all I apologize for the brief hiatus, I know some of y’all have been fiending for new posts. In the meantime I’ve gotten some people to write their stories up, so you can count on an increase in post frequency and quality in the near future. Without further adieu, a gem from a friend on my floor:

The following story includes many problems that occurred last Saturday night. So a few of my friends received a flyer for something called the “Big Red Bar mitzvah” that was happening at school and was free to all students. One of my friends is Jewish and loved going to bar mitzvahs so decided that we should go. We all thought it would be pretty hilarious to go so naturally we pregamed before then hit up the bar mitzvah. Problem #1: the pregame. Two of my friends were in my room and we were pregaming while listening to bomb music (the usual) when a girl across the hall called me over to pregame with her. I was feeling good so I figured why not; a few more shots can’t hurt. Then, someone a floor below me came up to my room and wanted to pregame with us too. I felt bad that she was taking shots by herself so I took more with her. At this point I had probably taken a total of about 10 shots, way too much (I’m literally a girl). So we’re all taking pictures and decide to walk down to the engineering building where the bar mitzvah was. We end up entering the party on the completely wrong side of the building and stumble down the stairs to see a group of people dancing to Wannabe by Spice Girls, all of them completely sober. So we casually walk to the dance floor and start dancing. Problem #2: Dancing. Having consumed more than my standing serving of alcohol, I was a little unstable on the dance floor. I hit the deck a few times so my friend took me over to sit down in a chair to try and control me. I’m sitting in the chair, and boom… I hit the floor. Everyone looks at me so I throw up a peace sign to the crowd and play it off like I wanted to sit there. Then my other friend calls the friend watching me over to the dance floor to introduce her to some people for literally 2 minutes. Problem #3: leaving me alone…even if it is for 90 seconds. Well my friend comes back to get me and what does she see, but me with puke on my shirt still just chillin’ on the floor. Problem #4: the rabbi. Next thing we know, the rabbi has come over to see all the commotion I’ve caused. She looks at me, laying on the floor looking like a nut job and asks my friends if they know me. Being good people they say yes and then the rabbi proceeds to say “you need to get her out of here.” They ask if they should help clean up and she says “no, just get her out.” Basically, being kicked out of my very first and probably last bar mitzvah by the rabbi probably wasn’t much fun at the time, but it makes for an instant classic.


Kickin ’em while they’re down

I’m a male, a student, and an athlete, from the great state of Pennsylvania, and I do not like Penn State Football. Yes, I said it I hate Penn State Football… Not because I hate the school or the people who go there  (not at all, no disrespect.. best damn ice cream I’ve ever had) , but because I have been raised a Notre Dame Football fan since the day I was born. No matter who Penn State plays or where they play I will root against them. I don’t know why but I cannot stomach to cheer for Penn State…

We all know the recent craziness that has plagued the once “happy valley,” and everyone has their own opinion on the subject. Whether you agree or disagree with Joe Paterno being fired is an entirely different story, but what we all can agree on is that Jerry Sandusky was wrong and deserving of punishment. Anytime children are involved in a crime such as this one, the child’s welfare should be put first. Always, without exception.

The most recent Sports Illustrated Special Report says that this is “the Most Explosive Scandal in the History of College Sports” and basically lambasts Penn State and the University at large. It’s one thing to attack an individual or a group for this type of scandal, but to attack the entire institution of Penn State (in my opinion) is just wrong.  You don’t think that the Penn State community is having a hard enough time dealing with this issue?  Every member of the Penn State community, alumni, students, faculty, anyone who once loved State College, has had their faith shaken. Imagine if something like this happened at your own University or in your community; I know it would tear me apart.  As the media continues to exploit this story for their own use, as they do with every scandal like this, I think we need to remember first and foremost the tragedy in this story is the abuse of young children, not the firing of Joe Paterno. But we should also remember the Penn State community at large is in a period of intense healing, and perhaps we should respect that and allow them to do so.

Guess why I smile a lot? Um, because it’s worth it.

Courtesy of the one and only T to the P Z

YouTube is getting to be a pretty crowded place these days.  With over 80,000,000 videos to sift through, it can get a little tough to consistently find keepers.  That said, “MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON” has remained one of the most heart-wrenching, and inspiring videos out there, plain and simple.  So when a second movie appeared this week on YouTube featuring Marcel (a.k.a. Ace, or Sheldon Conk), there was no question that we’d post the shit out of this soon-to-be-classic YouTube hit. Anyone who has ever lost a loved one to a freak balloon-holding accident, who has been told that their head is too big for their body, or who has experienced car troubles can find a way to empathize with this feeble little shell with shoes on. Enjoy:

Rocking My Sperry Top Siders

Maybe it’s because I have gone to prep school my whole life and its second nature to wear them, or because bending over to tie my shoes lost its luster around the same time I stopped watching rocket power, but in my opinion the best shoe on the market bar non is the Sperry Topsider.

There’s just something about wearing these shoes.  Whether you’re a frat star walking up to Delta Chi or an econ major sleeping in Micro, there’s just something about these shoes.

Here are the top three reasons why everyone should own a pair (or two) of Sperry Topsiders

1.    It’s a year round kinda shoe

Sperry’s are a shoe that you can wear everyday no matter what the season, temperature, or weather. It can be late summer or mid-February, and these shoes are still the ones you want to wear.  In spring and summer I like to rock the Sperry’s no socks look,It’s a hell of a look, and still pretty classy. Fall and winter I enjoy Sperry’s with some thick wool socks underneath. No matter if its raining or snowing, sunny or cloudy Sperry’s can and should be your show of choice.

2.    Comfort and Class

It’s pretty easy to understand once you put you feet in a nice pair of broken in Sperry’s why it seems that everyone has a pair.  Plain and simple they are the most comfortable shoes to wear around. No other shoes offer you the comfort and class that Sperry’s do. They look good and feel good and that’s what matters

3.    Versatile

Sperry’s are a type of shoe that you can wear with (almost) anything. Besides for jeans and chino shorts, Sperry’s can be worn with so much more. Sperry’s and sweatpants is something that I have noticed more and more recently—especially on a college campus. The other new look is the athletics Sperry style; this look requires you to take a chance, you might just like it. Next time you put athletic shorts on after practice throw on some black Nike or Under Armor mid-calf crew socks and enjoy.

These three reasons are why I personally where my Sperry’s… let me know why you wear yours.

I heard something about Mike Posner and Stacy’s Mom today…

First up is Mike Posner’s version of Wonderwall that he tweeted about earlier today, featuring Big K.R.I.T. If you were a fan of the original Oasis version then you’ll probably like this one. Posner’s style blends well with the original in large part due to the pop genre they both belong to. What’s also nice is that the original track is left largely intact, definitely enough to have the same catchy effect as it did several years ago. If you like be sure to grab “The Layover” four days from now.

Mike Posner ft. Big K.R.I.T. “Wonderwall”


Speaking of (relatively) older bangers, I’ve gotta share one that I’ve been hearing a lot lately. This one takes me back to the good old days every time I listen to it, and if you’re in college right now then you probably know what I mean. I don’t remember it ever getting old, but I’m into it now more than ever.

It’s finally here

That’s right. You asked and we delivered.

For those of you not among the 1,678 who sent me an email, text, fax, voicemail, or letter demanding I make this site, then here’s the 411.

We’re a tight pack of wolves hunting in the forest. And by that, I mean we are Cornell (rural) freshmen (18 years young).  Our mission is to keep it real out here in Ithaca by sharing some of the coolest stuff we know, period.

Come check back soon to hear legendary stories, authentic opinions, and dope music. Also if you’re getting older, wiser, and  are ready to move on from Suburban17.com then look no further.